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And you, homeboy, shoulda/woulda/coulda put a ring on it, but instead you overplayed your poker hand, as well as other poker parts, and now you’re played out.
Let’s say you’re a fat guy, which -- let’s be honest -- is not all that hypothetical.
Every year super-dapper single dudes suit up in seersuckers and hit the town’s breeziest rooftop bars to slurp down Moscow Mules and Greyhounds in the company of similarly saucy women, cliqued up and fancy in fly summer dresses and getting steadily geeked up on strong, spritzy, and fruity drinks. If you’re not sexy by then, you'll have to do something from another MC Hammer song, "Pray," if you want to get any action. Play this right, and even if you don’t leave with a dancer (and yeah, you actually don’t wanna ever do that) you'll both leave happy. Think about this before you stand someone up for a date.
We've got some of the best strip clubs in the world, and we’re all adults here. If they can find you on Linked In, they can easily find you in Lithonia, and they’re probably always strapped.
In fact, “uninitiated” is just what your sex life will be if you don’t learn the unique ins-and-outs (no pun there at all) of dating in the A.
Here’s what you’ve gotta know: You don’t need statistical studies to know the ratio of women to men is out of freaking control, which many Atlanta women will tell you is exactly how dudes here behave.
Francie Marshall (Kansas City), Paula Hudson (Denver), Ann Mc Donough (Boston), Keith Snyder (Indianapolis), Susan Shearer (Cleveland), Mary Jo D'Orazio (Denver), Larry Pogue (The Villages), and Elizabeth Irish (Phoenix).
Since almost nobody in Atlanta is actually from Atlanta, we spend most of our time telling out-of-towners why they can't go about finding attractive, eligible people to mate with the same way they did back home, because dating in the ATL isn't like anywhere else, and is downright mysterious for the uninitiated.
Just tell the pastor you were only trying to burn off the brunch calories.
Wealth is as attractive as a person’s physique, yet Atlanta’s a city where you can be unemployed for years and still somehow seduce/fool people into thinking you’re a tycoon.
Oh, and we’ve all been on When people think they’ve got a shot at a “relationship” or whatever, they lock each other down quickly (for two months). ATL’s nightlife population decreases by half after fall because apparently we’d rather spend the winter with the one we're with (no matter who they are) than look for love when the temperature drops around Halloween.