Dating tips for parents
Dating tips for parents
Date night is actually a good time to set aside baby concerns altogether – or at least as much as you can.One Baby Center member offers this advice, "My tip for new parents on date night is to make a rule that you're not allowed to talk about the kids.
It's a good idea to keep things light – many parents are more sensitive during the postpartum period. Remember, the important thing is spending time together, so don't worry if your date lacks scintillating conversation or a make-out session."I don't even remember what we talked about at dinner," says Rachel Schwartz of her first post-baby date with her partner.I know of a couple of single parent friends who have met future dates in the car park of their child's daycare centre, but this is very rare, and risky too if it doesn't work out and you have to continue the daily niceties over the toddler room sign-in book."Join hobby or sports groups," Rachael suggests."That way you're being social with people you have something in common with."On our first post-baby date, we went to see , a creepy, close-to-three-hour-long movie that included a scene of a young child in danger. "But even though we were exhausted and missing the baby, it was worth it and very important to reconnect." There's nothing wrong with talking about the baby on your date, but stick to how cute her toes are, or how you can tell she's a genius by the way she smiles at the mobile.Save concerns about spit-up and fussiness for non-date time. It's enough to make you want to hang up your dating shoes, turn your back on interaction with the opposite sex, and get a membership to your local sex shop instead! Dating is not impossible, it just kind of changes a bit."It's important to remember there's more than one relationship that has to blossom for it to work completely," says professional relationship coach, Rachael Wilson."There's not only you with your new partner, there's also your children with your new partner and the new partner with your children.
What will your children and their other parent think of the situation?
"I finally found one, but it was frustrating not to have it right when I needed it."If you're breastfeeding and haven't introduced the bottle yet, you'll probably want to nurse right before you leave and as soon as you return home.
Try to time your date so it falls between regular nursing sessions.(Some moms have even brought a portable breast pump along on dates to avoid that uncomfortably full feeling, but it's usually easier to just cut your date a little short.) "I had this fear that I was a bad mom for leaving my baby. I thought to myself, 'So she's finally here and you want to go out – how selfish! These feelings are common among first-time mothers.
"And I had the best feeling coming home and seeing my baby snoozing away safely in her crib."Your child benefits from being raised by parents in a strong, connected relationship.
If it helps soothe your guilt, tell yourself you're spending time with your partner for your baby's sake. Maybe you want to take the opportunity to reconnect in a low-stress way. Or if you're both art buffs, check out the latest museum exhibit.
For more relationship advice, including workshops and forums, head to rachwilson.com, and don't forget to try your luck online with one of the many dating sites available.